Growing old is hard to do.
The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)
Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together, and your body starts falling apart.
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
It’s a woman’s world, after all.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends,
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. A woman must do what he can’t.
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
Wine & flowers—white, red or pink—are the perfect companions.
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I’m also not blonde.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk until I faint.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one I can ride on.